Although we choose our partner hoping to consistently see eye to eye, support each other as best friends, and enjoy a long, secure, loving relationship, when stresses occur, it is difficult to retain our intimate connection.  Most couples experience their share of ups and downs.  As unnerving as these cycles can be, they are normal.

At the beginning of a relationship, we are excited at the thought of combining our lives.  Later on, differences, habits or traits that were once endearing, can become irritants. Since each of us has our own unique opinions, values and personal history, disputes are unavoidable.  Conflicts may arise around sex, infidelity, parenting, extended family, career issues, interests or money.  More relevant than having differences is how we negotiate them.  If we lack understanding, respect and acceptance of each other’s views and values, our differences become problematic and result in a gradual, almost imperceptible, disintegration of communication and caring.

Frequently, couples ignore or underestimate the severity of their difficulties, hoping their problems will improve over time. Often, people believe they should be able to solve their problems on their own.  Seeking help means that they, their partner or their relationship is a failure. However, left to fester, relationship difficulties can worsen and cause the partnership to deteriorate. For many couples, it takes a crisis to seek counseling.

The first step toward solving your relationship problems is to recognize the signs that your partnership needs professional help. These signs include the following:      

·   Difficulty communicating and negotiating with each other

·   Endless, frustrating fights and power struggles over the same issues

·   Inability to share feelings, thoughts or needs with your partner

·   Doubting that your partner understands, respects or cares for you

·   Expressing resentment and criticism instead of empathy or compassion

·   Feeling betrayed, hurt or lonely

·   Rarely having fun or enjoying each other’s company

·   Experiencing boredom or a diminished intimacy

The next step to solving your problems is to take action, despite finding it frightening or difficult to do so. It takes courage and commitment to make constructive changes. The skilled clinicians at Metropolitan Psychotherapy and Family Counseling Practice can help you improve your relationship.  We work with couples early in their relationship, in long- term partnerships and those considering separation.

Couples therapy helps partners to change their negative patterns, take constructive steps to heal their wounds and rebuild their partnership.  Our experienced couples therapists are licensed, clinical social workers who can help you to:

·   Identify recurring issues or conflicts

·   Learn to communicate effectively and honestly

·   Gain a better understanding of yourself and your partner

·   Develop healthy negotiating styles

·   Discover fair solutions to your problems

·   Establish an intimate and satisfying bond

If you are concerned about your relationship and ready to address your issues, contact Metropolitan Psychotherapy and Family Counseling Practice (MPFC) at 212- 228-2929.