A large segment of the American public, the “boomer generation,” will soon receive a social security check. Many expected to be empty nesters and enjoy an easier, more relaxed life. Instead, as they are coping with their own health and money issues, they are also dealing with their grown children’s problems, often under their own roof. They may be parenting their “boomerang kid” who has returned home after college and shows no sign of leaving or dealing with their older child who lives on her/his own but is financially or emotionally dependent.
If you are one of these parents, you may be asking yourself some of the following questions:
- How do I deal with my boomerang son/daughter who has unexpectedly returned home after college?
- What is my role now as a parent to my adult son/daughter?
- How do I parent my adult son/daughter in a firm, caring way that will not be experienced as controlling or interfering?
- How can I be helpful but not too helpful? How will I know when to offer assistance and advice and when to stop?
- How can I take care of myself, love my children and yet not automatically help with money, advice and suggestions?
- How do I cope with my disappointment and feelings of loss?
- How do I resolve my feelings of selfishness and guilt because I can enjoy a pleasant life style when my children can’t?
- What do I do when I don't approve of his/her choice of partner, life style or parenting?
- What tools do I need to avoid unnecessary conflict and tension, cope with negative reactions without escalating the situation and still maintain a positive connection with family members?
- How do I preserve my relationship with my partner and resolve our difference in parenting?
Inevitable family tensions and misunderstandings will be diminished if you have the understanding and tools you need to cope.
Some things to remember:
- Preserve your relationship with your partner
- Create house rules for your boomerang child that work for you and include responsibilities for him
- Learn effective communication and conflict resolution skills
- Spend time taking care of yourself
The therapists at MPFC have helped many parents of adult children sort out their feelings, address their issues and find solutions that work.
If you are a parent having a difficult time in any of these areas, come in and talk to one of our experienced therapists.
Call us at: 212 –228 - 2929 |
